I was in love, once. A girl whos name I never knew. Despite this, I knew exactly how I felt the moment I laid eyes on her. It was a warm summers night, and after consuming a large amount of alcohol with some of my peers at a local gentlemens club I was preparing for the unstable and arduous journey home. It was then I saw her. She stood there, gazing me up and down with eyes of cold steel and the stare of a hardened Frenchmen who'd just been bitten by a Spaniard. Not one to be put off by appearances, I approached her and offered a greeting, to which she replied "piss off, you cunt." Accepting defeat, I went for a kebab then fucked off home.